ZIRCON

TRANSCRIPT:

Thomas: Oi– don’t ignore me

Thomas: This is IMPORTANT

[whrr.. KACHUNK]

Thomas: oh god i’m the bottom

Zircon: [[Relax– You know, I’m glad you chose to participate in this experiment. What I am about to do is practically forbidden– I’ve been dying to try it~~]]

(SPLORT)

Thomas, taking potential anal prolapse like a champ: Wait– isn’t that just what aliens DO?

Zircon: [[Hm? Oh, no, the probe IS standard.]]